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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29883309">The Unsavoury Practices of Draco Malfoy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmortalAcorn/pseuds/ImmortalAcorn'>ImmortalAcorn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Auror Harry Potter, Diary/Journal, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Explicit Language, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, M/M, Oblivious Harry, Post-War, Secret Relationship, Sexual Content, Shop Owner Draco Malfoy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:30:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,506</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29883309</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmortalAcorn/pseuds/ImmortalAcorn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I was told keeping a diary or writing in general helps with emotions, dealing with them. Well, Hermione told me that. But I don’t know. So far, I still feel like shit.</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>Harry's wonderful life and his wonderful crusade proving that 'Malfoy, once again, is up to something evil, I'm telling you and I know I'm right!'</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This, right here, is purely self-indulgent dump of some diary entries that came to me while being completely uninspired in my other writing endeavours. I love diary/journal fics, so once again, I decided to entertain myself.<br/>Hope it's enjoyable to someone too :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong> <span class="u">24 April 2001, Tuesday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I was told keeping a diary or writing in general helps with emotions, dealing with them. Well, Hermione told me that. But I don’t know. So far, I still feel like <strong><span class="u">SHIT</span></strong>.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong><span class="u">29 April 2001, Sunday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hermione told me this writing thing only helps when a person is honest, writing about their day and other crap.</p>
<p>Well then. Ginny came today and took the rest of her stuff. I begged her, <span class="u">again</span>, to stay, to not leave me alone. I was a complete <strong>LOOSER</strong>, yes, whatever. She, of course, said no, she cried a little but definitely less then me. I could see she just wanted to leave as soon as possible. So after I made a total fool out of myself, she left and I drank the rest of the wine I found opened in the fridge. And now I am here, on my bed, writing, cause it is supposed to help.</p>
<p>Honestly, reliving it, this day, just now, only makes me want to cry again.</p>
<p>So I guess I’m just gonna do that for a while.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">30 April 2001, Monday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Crap day at work. I ended up soaked in kneazle blood. I don’t really want to think about it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">4 May 2001, Friday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My friends are still Ginny’s friends.</p>
<p>So even when we’re broken up, <span class="u">apparently</span>, we’re still going to hang out together. Like tonight.</p>
<p>I came to the Four Fiends and she was already there, chatting with Hannah. I thought it would be excruciating and it was exactly that.</p>
<p>I stayed for a bit, drank one beer and I couldn’t do it anymore, Ron looked pained, Neville too, Luna was her usual unperturbed self, which helped, but only a little. So I left and am now wallowing in self-pity.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">5 May 2001, Saturday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The thing is, I get it - why she wanted to break up. Sure, I was bored sometimes as well, but isn’t it a normal thing? We were together for more than three years, those things happen and I don’t think it’s a reason for a break up, is it?!!</p>
<p>So I sent her a letter five minutes ago, explaining why we should get back together.</p>
<p>I regret all my decisions right now.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">6 May 2001, Sunday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She fire-called me today.</p>
<p>She basically just told me the same thing as when she was breaking up with me a month ago, something along <em>‘Harry, I still love you, but we drifted, don’t you see?’</em> and the rest is not even worth to talk about. <span class="u">Clearly</span>, she doesn’t love me enough to stay.</p>
<p>She will play for the Harpies this season. I don’t think I was holding her back. She could’ve played even when we were together, long-distance would be fine.</p>
<p>Whatever.</p>
<p>
  <strike>Fuck her!!</strike>
</p>
<p>No, I didn’t mean it. Maybe just a little. I love her. Of course I love her. She’s Ginny.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">15 May 2001, Tuesday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s pretty hard to keep this diary consistent. I don’t think it needs to be, however, Hermione is of different opinion. Don’t care, I’ll write what I want and whenever I want.</p>
<p>Work is crazy, loads of bad wizards.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">17 May 2001, Thursday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So. Ginny is leaving on Saturday and she invited me to her farewell party tomorrow. I said I’d think about it but I know I won’t come. I don’t want for everyone to see me cry or something worse, if it would come to it.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">18 May 2001, Friday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hermione barged into my office today to tell me I absolutely have to come to the party.</p>
<p><em>‘Harry, it’s Ginny’</em> she said, like that isn’t exactly the reason why I don’t want to go.</p>
<p>Somehow, she still managed to persuade me. I just got ready, Ron and Hermione are waiting downstairs and I decided to write a little just to delay the inevitable a bit.</p>
<p>Jesus, I think I hear her coming.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">19 May 2001, Saturday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suffice to say, I’m not attending any party serving alcohol for a very long time.</p>
<p>God, I can’t believe it!!</p>
<p>I snogged one of Ginny’s friends. <strong><span class="u">Fucking awful!!</span></strong></p>
<p>It’s not like I meant to, she was just there, smiling at me, I had maybe few too many at that point and so I kissed her cause she was pretty and she was smiling at me. Ginny saw, of-fucking- course, as did several others. She was furious and I was and still am ashamed.</p>
<p>I’m not ashamed I kissed someone, I am single. But it was her friend and I think there might be some law or something about kissing your ex’s friends.</p>
<p>She looked angry and cold. When I saw that she saw I tried to explain but I think I only mumbled something incomprehensible and left.</p>
<p>What a way to say goodbye.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">20 May 2001, Sunday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ron came by today, without Hermione, thank god. I don’t think I could stand her badgering me. I apologised to him, probably because Ginny is his sister. He said it was fine, that we are broken up after all and that Ginny is not mad, not really and whether I want to come to the Burrow to say bye personally.</p>
<p>I told him no. I just know I would do something stupid again. So I said to Ron to wish her good luck for me, he said he will, we drank some lemonade I had in the cupboard, listened to wireless and then, after two hours he left to say goodbye to Ginny.</p>
<p>I know she’s not moving to other side of the country, but still. It makes me sad that she’s leaving me. Well, she already left me weeks ago, but this seems... it. Like we will never get back together again.</p>
<p>I haven’t thought about it before.</p>
<p>Yeah, we might never get back together. Ever.</p>
<p>Jesus.</p>
<p>Why am I like this? I wasn't this way back at Hogwarts, I wouldn't cry because a girl would break up with me!</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">23 May 2001, Wednesday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Today I went to investigate a complaint about a shop in Knockturn Alley. I was totally shocked when I saw <strong>Malfoy</strong>, behind a counter, arguing with some elderly woman. It turned out it was she who filed a complaint because she basically <em>'never liked the look of him'.</em></p>
<p>I investigated – calmed the woman down and sent her to her own shop.</p>
<p>I stayed behind, because it was <span class="u">Malfoy</span> and for sure he was up to no good. And since when does he have a shop specializing in cursed objects – as he <span class="u">kindly explained,</span> he breaks the curses from the objects that people bring. Something was definitely off, so I asked him some more questions. He sneered and sniped his answers, nothing new there.</p>
<p>But still. I haven’t seen him for couple years and suddenly here he is, playing with curses. So I asked this as well to which he said <em>‘I’ve owned this shop for a year now, Potter, so if that’s all, I would like to go back to work and you go do your flashy saviour things somewhere that is not my shop, thank you and good bye’</em> he flicked his wand, the front door opened, he disappeared through a curtain behind the counter, I looked around for a bit and then left. The door shut, it got dark behind the windows and a CLOSED sign appeared.</p>
<p>If he thinks I’m going to leave this be, he’s sorely mistaken.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">25 May 2001, Friday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I brought up my encounter with Malfoy to Hermione and Ron. Ron groaned and Hermione said that she sees him sometimes in Diagon Alley. I asked why she never told me and she said she didn’t think it was important!</p>
<p><em>‘Hermione, this is Malfoy we’re talking about’</em> I told her, Ron groaned again, shook his head and said <em>‘exactly, it’s Malfoy and now you’re going to get all obsessive, again’</em> and Hermione answered with <em>‘I know it’s Malfoy but we’re not in school anymore and therefore, please, Harry, don’t go and follow him around’</em>.</p>
<p>
  <strong>!!!!</strong>
</p>
<p><em><span class="u">'Who said that I was going to follow him??'</span></em> I said to them and Hermione continued eating and Ron just shrugged - like that meant anything.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Also, I was never obsessive – and if I was it was justified, I was right!</p>
<p>Of course that I will have to keep an eye on him, I am an auror and it is my job to keep evil off the streets.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">27 May 2001, Sunday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I had lunch at the Burrow today.</p>
<p>Ginny fire-called at about two and I was about ready to flee. Everyone huddled around the hearth, I stayed put on the sofa, listening. No one mentioned I was there. Ginny was talking about her team and practise and Wales and how amazing it all is after she finally ditched me and blah blah blah. Okay, she didn’t say the part about ditching me, but it was given. It was amazing and wonderful and peachy because we aren’t together anymore and she’s finally living her best life.</p>
<p>Fucking awesome.</p>
<p>I’m happy for her.</p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">I really am.</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">31 May 2001, Thursday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was a complaint against Malfoy again. I saw the report first, that’s why I went, not any other reason. The same woman, almost exactly the same scene when I arrived. I sent her away just as the last time and Malfoy was even more insufferable, he only answered in one word sentences, the git.</p>
<p>When I came back to the Ministry, I conducted short investigation of my own, that led to nowhere because it turned out Malfoy was telling the truth when he said his business was licensed and approved and that he’s had it for more than a year.</p>
<p>In other news… well nothing really. Ginny’s still gone, I’m still alone and right now I think I’m about to have some serious headache.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">4 June 2001, Monday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I went out yesterday and I definitely shouldn’t have drunk that much, I will try not to, ever again. The whole day was a trial in suffering.</p>
<p>First work - the paperwork is seriously getting ridiculous -, Malfoy – another complaint, the same thing, and he keeps grating on my nerves and this time he even <span class="u">laughed</span> right into my face when I said he was a prat like it was the funniest joke he’s heard and<strong> I got enough</strong>, someone else can go next time, it’s not like I want to go myself – then Ginny sent me a t-shirt she packed by mistake and then decided to send it to me when she realised it was mine, so I smelled it and it was her all over it, so I threw it into the bin, took it out and washed it.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">5 June 2001, Tuesday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This morning, Malfoy came to the DMLE offices to make a complaint about the witch that keeps complaining about him. Jonson told me when I saw Malfoy leaving her office in a strop, so I asked her and she said he suspects the witch is selling some illegal potions.</p>
<p>Turned out he was right. When Jonson went to investigate, they found some potions in her basement, she was keeping under-the-counter business, banned brews.</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">Very suspicious. How did Malfoy know? Did someone frame the old witch? Was it Malfoy?</span>
</p>
<p>Will have to keep an eye on him.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">6 June 2001, Wednesday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To keep the promise – to myself – I went to the Knockturn Alley after my shift, straight to Malfoy’s shop – it’s called Curious Curses (suspicious much?) – and he had a customer so I waited inside, looking around, looking into glass displays, watching for anything that might attack or spurt some dark magic right on me. Malfoy glared immediately as I stepped in and still managed to glare between talking to his customer. When the wizard left, Malfoy barked <em>‘what do you want’</em> and so I told him I just came to look around. He said he would be closing soon, to go. I asked him whether he planted the potions into the old witch’s basement and he, of course, denied it. So I asked then, whether I can look around some more, maybe behind the curtain, the back room. He said no and to quote he also said ‘fuck off, Potter’. I left, but not without ‘I’m keeping my eye on you, Malfoy’ which I think was a <span class="u">very good</span> retort to leave with.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">13 June 2001, Wednesday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A week passed by, nothing suspicious to report really. Yet.</p>
<p>Malfoy goes to work, works, then at about 6pm closes the shop and then at about 7pm goes home. He lives in the Manor. I tried to follow him inside, but he has wards around the monstrosity, and I didn’t want to dismantle them in case he would notice.</p>
<p>Honestly, week is not nearly enough. Will continue and will see.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">15 June 2001, Friday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hermione figured what I was doing. I asked her how and she said <em>‘honestly, Harry, it’s sixth year all over again, like I wouldn’t notice, plus you took a holiday and I bet it was so you can stalk him’</em> and she told Ron so they both tried to talk me out of it – things like <em>‘we’re not in school anymore’</em> were spoken, and <em><span class="u">‘blah, blah, blah’</span></em>. I don’t care. I know Malfoy, I know he’s doing something in that shop of his, something evil. Hermione can think he changed just because they sometimes say hello to each other and Ron can be all grown up now about it (but I know he thinks what I think, he told me himself when Hermione wasn’t around that he thinks Malfoy is a git and definitely not as clean as he appears, and he’s only afraid of Hermione so he’s not supporting me in this when she’s with us). So, they can huff and puff all they want, my investigation into Draco Malfoy’s Unsavoury Practices continues.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">22 June 2001, Friday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">The Unsavoury Practices of Draco Malfoy from 14<sup>th</sup> to 22<sup>nd</sup> June:</span> </strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li>Malfoy leaves the Manor at 6am,</li>
<li>buys a coffee from muggle(!!) coffee shop at about 6:30am,</li>
<li>walks around with the coffee in muggle (!) neighbourhood for about 30 minutes,</li>
<li>walks into his shop at about 7/7:15am,</li>
<li>opens his shop at 8am,</li>
<li>customers walk in and out until 6pm when the shop closes, stream of people is steady, sometimes they carry some things, sometimes they are empty handed, sometimes they leave with a bag with the shop’s name on it,</li>
<li>Malfoy leaves the shop at 7pm exactly, each day – what is he doing for that one hour in there?? – still didn’t manage to get inside during this time, even with the cloak – because Malfoy has wards around the shop at that time – super suspicious!!,</li>
<li>*on Friday 15th he went to a bar, he met Pansy Parkinson there, they drank, laughed uproariously, and then parted ways at about 11pm, the previous Friday or this one or any other day this didn’t happen – <span class="u">slight deviation – possibly suspicious</span> – must get closer next time it happens*,</li>
<li>usually, he gets home at about 7:15 or 7:30pm, I managed to dismantle part of his wards without him noticing (I should stick it to Robards, he keeps complaining my ward breaking is too noisy!) and get on the grounds – his lights go off most nights at about 10 to 11pm – I surveyed the grounds, so far nothing of interest, just trees, flowers, grass, some shed – storing brooms and some gardening tools – no dark magic detected, no white peacocks – possibly suspicious,</li>
<li>during this weekend he stayed in the Manor, no signs of Narcissa or Lucius, he went outside to walk the grounds, on Sunday he went flying – not leaving the grounds – and then went inside.</li>
</ul>
<p>He is definitely up to something.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">24 June 2001, Sunday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Okay, so he caught me, no big deal. It is actually hilarious.</p>
<p>So, I’ve been following him this weekend as well, and today he went out, again with Parkinson. So I thought, <span class="u">might as well come inside and watch them</span>. I went without the cloak, the place was crowded and I had some charms over me, auror grade charms, no way in hell someone would recognise me. I went in, sat at the bar and not even in 20 minutes Malfoy was there, staring daggers into my head. He said: <em>‘Can’t you leave me be at least over the weekend? Isn’t it enough that you’re stalking me during the week? What the fuck, Potter?’</em></p>
<p>I stared at him and then I went with the tactics that’s called <strong><span class="u">Denial, Denial, Denial</span></strong> and said: <em>‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’</em></p>
<p>So, then he growled: <em>‘I am not stupid, I know when I’m being followed, especially by you, and also, just so you know, you idiot of first order, that cloak of yours is way too small for your huge ego, your feet keep sticking out.’</em></p>
<p>I denied all: <em>‘I think you’re mistaken.’</em></p>
<p>Malfoy then said: <em>‘I am not and I want you to fuck off or I will make a harassment complaint!’</em></p>
<p>So, whatever, I told him: <em>‘Fine. I followed you, like, twice, at most.’</em></p>
<p>He laughed, very ugly, sneering grin: <em>‘You’ve been stalking me exactly for eighteen days and I want you to stop right now!’</em></p>
<p>Obviously, I can’t do that so I said: <em>‘I will try my best.’</em></p>
<p>He opened his mouth and only managed to say <em>‘Potter’</em> when Parkinson strutted over, greeted me with overly sweet smile and a bizarre apology for wanting to hand me over to Voldemort, I said <em>‘thanks?’</em> and she bought me some pink drink called Pink Lady Cocktail – was pretty good, fruity – and invited me over to their table. Malfoy squeaked, I accepted, Malfoy’s face turned enraged, and then I excused myself to go to a loo, where I am right at this moment, writing so I won’t forget anything from the interaction and I for sure don’t want to use the DMLE’s Pensieve – those things keep records.</p>
<p>Yeah, I am a fifteen-year-old girl now, writing in her diary as soon as something memorable happens. What am I becoming, for Christ’s sake??</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">25 June 2001, Monday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I had to take one more day off (Robards was not happy) because Parkinson drunk me under the table yesterday and I feel like digging a hole and die. It’s already evening, and I had 2 Hangover potions and still feel dizzy.</p>
<p>Anyway, my investigation continues, so I have to write down what I remember.</p>
<p>I came back from the loo, Parkinson was smiling at me and Malfoy was probably trying to hex my hair off silently. I sat down, she ordered more of those pink drinks for all three of us and she was chattering away. It was amazing, I learnt so much about her and Malfoy, too. He hated every minute of it (which made me happy) and even tried to shush her few times, but she was not having it. I got drunk – and I think this was her plan all along, I will have to be more careful around her and alcohol when in one room – and I talked.</p>
<p>To sum it all up, Malfoy now knows I was at the Manor (which is not the greatest but I can live with it). He was furious and demanded my immediate resignation as an auror to which I informed him that I’ve been doing this in my free time and so he has no leverage (which is not true and it would fuck me up if he was to go and complain and I think he knew I was bulshitting him because his eyes narrowed in suspicion, most probably) and Parkinson was grinning, saying <em>‘grand!’</em> and <em>‘Merlin, this is the best!’</em> and <em>‘I love this’</em> while pointing at me.</p>
<p>We parted ways probably at about midnight, they left together arm in arm, Parkinson kissing my cheeks and Malfoy just grunted a very poisonous <em>‘fuck off now’</em> and that was it.</p>
<p>I can’t stop, not now when I got this close. I have to consider my next step.</p>
<p>Either I will continue trailing him in secret, knowing he knows, or I will trail him so he knows and sees that I’m trailing him, possibly making him mad and more prone to slipping and spilling some secrets in rage. Yeah, that sounds about right, definitely the second option.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">26 June 2001, Tuesday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I went to work today, loads of paperwork to catch up on, no new cases. Which suits me right now, as I am conducting my own investigation.</p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">The Unsavoury Practices of Draco Malfoy, 26<sup>th</sup> June:</span> </strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li>I left work at 5pm, made it to Malfoy’s shop at 5:12pm and lingered inside,</li>
<li>Malfoy was mad but seeing as he had customers still coming in, couldn’t do much about me being there, seeing as I am Harry Potter and his customers, once seeing me wanted to chat or an autograph, so it wouldn’t do him much good if he hexed me in front of them,</li>
<li>5:55pm he closed the shop, before of course trying to make me leave his premises, he even held up his wand, a hex probably on his tongue when I told him I will wait for him outside,</li>
<li>6pm the shop windows went dark, so I spelled myself a clear little view in his charm and watched him pacing in front of the counter – suspicious indeed – until he saw me, flicked his wand and when nothing happened and my view was still uninterrupted, he flicked it again and then one more time at which point I grinned, genuinely happy at how angry his face became, he stomped his foot, barged forwards and out, locked the door and stomped away,</li>
<li>I followed him, he apparated at the corner, I apparated right after him, hoping it was the Manor he was going to,</li>
<li>6:10pm found me in front of the Manor gate with Malfoy furiously screaming at me to <em>‘leave me the fuck alone!’</em>, stomping away to the house, looking back at me all the way there.</li>
</ul>
<p>I didn’t enter the grounds today because I remembered I promised to babysit Teddy from 5pm and was an hour late. I apparated straight to Andromeda’s, apologising profusely. She was a little miffed, understandably so, so she greeted me in the doorway and left.</p>
<p>Teddy is now asleep, finally, the kid would play until the morning, I swear. Andromeda should be home soon, so I should probably tidy the toys and make the tomato stain disappear from the ceiling.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">30 June 2001, Saturday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">The Unsavoury Practices of Draco Malfoy from 27<sup>th</sup> to 29<sup>th</sup> June:</span> </strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li>the routine remains as previously recorded,</li>
<li>Malfoy was even more cross with me on Thursday than usual, Friday it came to a head when he sent a stinging hex my way which I deflected,</li>
<li>but also, he left the gate wide opened on Friday at 7:12pm and said nothing, just glared me down until I didn’t step in and the gate banged closed behind me,</li>
<li>he stomped away, I walked after him and I thought <span class="u">‘finally, I will get inside, I will see whether Narcissa or Lucius are inside, or dead bodies of white peacocks’</span> and once I was in front of the door, he was inside, shutting it right in my face,</li>
<li>I walked the grounds until 8pm,</li>
<li>at 8:02pm I knocked on his door, I saw a light on int the downstairs windows,</li>
<li>he opened at 8:17pm after I charmed a continuous knock on the door, he sneered <em>‘what the fuck do you want?’</em>, I said I only wanted to wash my hands, he sneered more but let me in!!,</li>
<li>I did go wash my hands to the bathroom he led me in – very posh and dark and clean – and then he led me straight back to the front door, his back straight and rigid and his face angry in mute madness so I turned left and went where the lights were on,</li>
<li>at about 8:35pm I stepped in a kitchen – very posh and warm and with loads of unwashed dishes so I asked where his house-elfs are, he said he doesn’t have any – very suspicious – and then I asked where his parents are and he said <em>‘none of your fucking business’</em>, so I asked whether he lives alone and he answered <em>‘when will you finally fucking leave my house, Potter?’</em>,</li>
<li>I left at 8:46pm.</li>
</ul>
<p>Today I decided to take a day off and spend it with Neville at Hogwarts. Luna was there too. We mostly helped him with some plants – which I didn’t know that was what we would be doing when he invited me to come – but then we went to the lake, visited Hagrid and went to Hogsmeade and it was a very nice day indeed.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">1 July 2001, Sunday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This morning I got an owl from Parkinson to come and entertain her with my presence this evening at some muggle club. This is a great opportunity to know more about her and Malfoy - if he’ll be there.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">2 July 2001, Monday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">The Unsavoury Practices of Draco Malfoy when in Muggle Club on 1<sup>st</sup> of July:</span> </strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li>I came at 9pm, the time Parkinson wrote in her letter, she was not there, Malfoy was not there, so I sat at the bar and watched the entrance,</li>
<li>they came at 9:30pm, laughing, Parkinson saw me first and waved and when Malfoy saw me, he dropped her hand and turned around like wanting to leave but she grabbed him, whispered something in his ear and he shook his head violently and said something to which she laughed and dragged him behind her until she stopped in front of me and demanded that I order the drinks tonight,</li>
<li>I ordered wine (seemed like a safe choice) to which both of them rolled their eyes and strutted away, I followed them to an empty table without chairs (why?),</li>
<li>we stood there, drank, Parkinson was talking mostly, taking turns between me and Malfoy, he was rigid as hell – <span class="u">avoiding saying anything incriminating, I bet</span>,</li>
<li>Parkinson got bored and wanted to dance so she made me come to the dancefloor and was dancing around me, whereas I was just standing there, moving from side to side until she got bored of that too and went to get Malfoy and left me there alone, with men and women swirling around me (there was definitely a hand or two on my ass the second I was left alone there) and when I got back she was pleading with him to come and dance with her because <em>‘Potter is useless, you saw, like a log, please Draco’</em>, he resisted for a good while but then she whispered something to him (I wish I’d charmed my ears to hear better or something), he went red and reluctantly came with her to dance,</li>
<li>they started the dance together and then Parkinson drifted to some man and Malfoy glared at her, stopped all movement and made a step to leave when a woman approached him, first he shook his head with a smile but then was persuaded into a dance – she was very touchy and he seemed to like it at first but when her hand wandered down to his crotch, he grabbed her wrist, pushed her hand away, said something and left her there,</li>
<li>he came back to the table, seemingly forgetting I’m there because once he realised he frowned and gulped down the rest of his wine, he looked around, probably looking for Parkinson and when he couldn’t find her he frowned even more,</li>
<li>I tried to talk to him, seeing as we’ve already had few glasses so his tongue might be loose – and it was but more of in a very snipy way, not getting anything of importance out of his mouth,</li>
<li>I asked whether he goes to clubs often: ‘<em>often enough, especially when there are no bespectacled gits around’</em>, I asked whether he goes to muggle places often: <em>‘yes, I love them, no magic usually equals no prats’</em>, I asked whether he likes to go to muggle places in general: <em>‘I don’t know why you need to ask, Potter, you stalk me enough to know’</em> and so on and on,</li>
<li>until a man came to our table, moving into Malfoy’s space so familiarly I thought they knew each other, and Malfoy smiled at first, even when taking a step back from the guy but when he whispered something to him, I could see him tense and his smile turned strained when he said <em>‘no, thank you’</em>, the guy lingered for a while talking to Malfoy but it was apparent Malfoy was not interested so he left with a frown,</li>
<li>I asked Malfoy what that was about, didn’t get an answer, Parkinson finally appeared on an arm of a stranger saying <em>‘this is John’</em>, Malfoy nodded, said good bye to her, I said my farewells too and followed him out,</li>
<li>he snapped at me to let him be and go home, then he apparated in the back alley at 11:30pm, probably to the Manor and I went home, too.</li>
</ul>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">4 July 2001, Wednesday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Teddy did the most adorable thing </strong><strong>today!</strong> We were just after dinner and I turned on the wireless and there was a Celetina Warbeck song on and he started dancing and probably singing – sounded more like screaming to me, but then that song wasn’t any better – and it was the cutest thing in the world. Andromeda said it was his favourite song that he always dances to it, but this was the first time he attempted the singing too.</p>
<p>God, just adorable!!!</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">8 July 2001, Sunday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Malfoy let me in this weekend when I apparated to his gate, ready to dismantle the wards, disgruntled at 9am, saying that apparently there is nothing he can do about me.</p>
<p>Am I an asshole? I don’t think so, I’m just doing what’s right and he behaves very suspiciously, with all the straight posture and that gleaming (slightly wavy) hair of his and those sneers and smirks… he’s odd and suspicious and a Death Eater and I am doing the right thing!</p>
<p>So, he let me in on Saturday and Sunday, too, let me walk the grounds while watching me from the windows. He did not let me in, though, when I asked to use the loo again, didn’t offer tea or anything. He came out once on Sunday. He just walked, back stiff, glaring on me from time to time. I kept watching him, too. I even walked with him. Besides few catty remarks about my hair, glasses, magical abilities, and just generally about me, there was no real conversation.</p>
<p>As a parting words on Sunday, he said from the open doorway <em>‘it’s eight o’clock, Potter, hope you’re ready to fuck off for today’</em>. I shouted <strong><span class="u">no </span></strong>to the already closed door and out of spite stood there for about fifteen minutes before going home.</p>
<p>I mean, I really don’t think I am an asshole. It’s my duty.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">9 July 2001, Monday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hermione said I’m not an asshole but that it is not the best way to go about things when I asked her, because I was having second thoughts about the whole thing.</p>
<p><em>‘No, Harry, you’re not an asshole, as you put it, but maybe you could stop it now,’</em> she said when I approached her and I told her <em>‘I can’t stop, Hermione, he’s doing something… bad, I know it’</em> and she sighed and said <em>‘oh, Harry’</em> and shooed me away because she needed to work.</p>
<p>I then went to Ron on my lunch break, and he said I’m definitely not an asshole<em>. ‘No, mate, are you kidding? It’s Malfoy we’re talking about, he has a shop with cursed objects, there’s definitely something off, could he be any more obvious? Also, I saw him the other day here, looking at the window display and he never came in, just watched for a while and then left. What’s that about?’</em>.</p>
<p>Yeah, what’s that about?</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">10 July 2001, Tuesday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I asked Malfoy today, why he was looking at that Wheezes display. He just closed the shop, I was lingering in front of it only for few minutes because I had to stay late in work, and I walked with him before he apparated.</p>
<p>He waved his arms around, almost yelling but somehow still quiet enough <em>‘can I seriously not do anything anymore without you sticking your big nose in it, Potter? I can walk around and look at things, I can have wards around my home, I can work, I can breathe! Unless that you want to put me in Azkaban for living, then go ahead! You are an insufferable, annoying and foolish asshole!! Tomorrow I am filing a complaint against you!’</em> and then he disapparated on the spot.</p>
<p>That didn’t go very well.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">11 July 2001, Wednesday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So, he did complain about me, officially.</p>
<p>I was called to Robards’s offices and he clapped me on the shoulder and asked what I had against Malfoy. I said that not much, (I was a bit surprised I was not getting a dressing-down) and Robards asked me if I needed another auror on the case. So, then I had to explain that it was not really an official investigation but rather something that I did in my free time and so, at that point, I really expected some stern words, written warnings and so on. Robards just laughed, said we can make it into an official affair and <em>‘get him’</em> if I have some suspicions.</p>
<p><em>‘Harry, whatever you need, if Malfoy is a threat, we need to deal with him’</em> he said.</p>
<p>But I don’t have anything, do I? Just years long animosity towards the git, but nothing real.</p>
<p>So, I said that I was just trying to make Malfoy mad, I apologised and I said I would also apologise to Malfoy.</p>
<p><em>‘No need, Harry, we won’t record his complaint officially, I know you and you mean well but if I can ask you, if you will continue following him, do it under the radar so he doesn’t go and complain to the Prophet, you know how those people are. But good job, if you change your mind, let me know’</em> he nodded, shook my hand and dismissed me.</p>
<p>I think I fucked up.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">12 July 2001, Thursday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Today, I went to apologise to Malfoy. He was just finishing with a customer. I told him I won’t follow him any longer. He smirked and said he should’ve complained sooner.</p>
<p>It’s awful, really, the complaint was trashed and Davies just laughed about it when he was telling me how Malfoy <em>‘whined about you, mate’</em> and how he pretended he was taking notes and interest.</p>
<p>So, I decided to stop because that’s the right thing to do, right?</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">17 July 2001, Tuesday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Robards told me yesterday that he assigned a team to monitor suspicious shops in Knocturn because of me!! The aurors will do patrols, if they suspect something, they can search the shops as well. <span class="u">This really isn’t something I wanted.</span></p>
<p><em>‘That alley was always full of darkness, so it’s a good thing you alerted us, Harry’</em> Robards said.</p>
<p>I told him that I didn’t think it was necessary and it was like I said nothing. He congratulated me on good work and gave me a new case.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">18 July 2001, Wednesday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I told Malfoy about the patrols – because it is my fault they’re happening – to be careful what he does. He gritted his teeth, cursed me all the way to hell and told me it was all my fault. I agreed of course and apologised again. I didn’t know what else to do so then I left.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">21 July 2001, Saturday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fucking ridiculous, that’s what it is.</p>
<p>I just couldn’t let it go so, <span class="u">once again,</span> I went to see Malfoy yesterday and Davies and Willows were standing in front of him, asking questions. They said hello when they saw me but turned right back, questioning him. Malfoy was furious, answers clipped but polite. Willows was polite too, but Davies was just straight up rude. I interrupted them, saying I could take over. Davies was a bit reluctant but then thankfully left without too much complaining.</p>
<p><em>‘You did it, Potter, now the whole Ministry is after me and I might just end up in Azkaban, congratulations, you fuckwit’</em> Malfoy said when it was just me and him.</p>
<p>So, my next plan is to make Robards disband this new group or something. Or then I don’t know.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">26 July 2001, Thursday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It had to come from the Minister himself. I, obviously, have no say, but at least, if no one else, Kingsley listened to me. He ordered the group to be discharged immediately and he gave me a written warning, after all. It sucks, but then I did go <em>‘way beyond my authority as an auror’</em>, as Kingsley informed me sternly.</p>
<p>At least now no one will be harassed for no reason.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">29 July 2001, Sunday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>Ginny came home, visiting, exactly the moment as I was leaving the Burrow. It was awkward, for me. She said hi and hugged me and I could smell her hair – she changed her shampoo, I didn’t like it. She tried for some chit-chat, I tried to chit-chat back, but it was stilted and the whole family kept looking at us and Ron was visibly cringing just the way I was on the inside. I ended the whole painful situation with <em>‘good seeing you, gotta go now, but good seeing you, bye everyone’</em> and I left.</p>
<p>She looked good, happy and pretty and confident as she always was, and I think I might love her less for it.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">31 July 2001, Tuesday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I am officially 21. I had a lovely dinner with my friends, I was given a very beautiful plant which name I’ve already forgotten from Neville, a flowery silk robe from Luna, 2 books from Hermione, Quidditch season tickets from Ron and he also brought a gift from Ginny – a bottle of Firewhiskey (don’t know what to think about it, whether it’s some dig at the whole crying and pleading with her when she was breaking my heart or she just forgot and sent the first thing she saw).</p>
<p>Sunday, there will be a party at the Burrow, Molly insisted. I just hope she won’t be there. What if I’d get drunk and cry <strong>again</strong>??</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">3 August 2001, Friday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I saw Malfoy during my lunch break today, walking out of the Wheezes, carrying a bag. Obviously, I had to talk to him. So, I went up to him, said hello, all very polite, more than a meter between us. He frowned with <em>‘what do you want’</em> and I only wanted to make a civil conversation about what he had in the bag as one would with his childhood nemesis but Malfoy was not having it and was walking away from me before I even managed to ask anything important.</p>
<p>So, I waved to Ron who was looking from the shop window waiting to have lunch with me and walked with Malfoy.</p>
<p><em>‘How have you been?’</em> I asked him.</p>
<p>He said <em>‘splendid’</em> and didn’t even look at me. I spoke about weather, what a nice day, he just hummed and sped up. I walked inside the shop with him where he finally turned to me and almost pushed me against the door as he was advancing, finger pointed right at me.</p>
<p><em>‘Listen, Potter. I think I was clear enough that I am sick and tired of you, what else am I supposed to do about you, so you stop bothering me? I also’</em> here I blanked out. His face was angry and he was uncomfortably close to me and I could smell his aftershave or cologne or something, woody and lavender or some other flower. It was suffocating and in my nose and also, that close I noticed he had freckles on his cheeks and nose, the lightest shade of brown and they were right there, odd and too close and so I pushed him away, right in the middle of his badgering. He staggered back, mouth open but he regained his posture quite quickly, straightening his robes – unnecessarily, I barely touched him – and said <em>‘nice, Potter, just as I was saying, you keep proving me right and’</em> I didn’t stay for the rest, I left and finally breathed in some fresh air.</p>
<p>I went back to get Ron, we had lunch and then I went back to work, arrested one wizard for public indecency and at the end of the day, went straight home.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">5 August 2001, Sunday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I ate so much that now I feel like bursting.</p>
<p>Party was good, not too many people, just Weasleys and my closest friends and their friends. Towards the end, when the cake was half-eaten and gifts unwrapped, Molly, of all people, played a matchmaker as she introduced me to a woman – Celia. <em>‘Daughter of a friend’</em>, she said. I felt pretty uneasy. She was nice and all, my age and pretty, but all the same, it was awkward. I mean, it was for me, she looked at unbothered, but I was fidgeting and constantly sipping on my butterbeer and looking all around. I was glad when she decided to go grab a cupcake and with <em>‘I will be right back’</em> she smiled at me and went.</p>
<p>I quickly made my way to the garden where Teddy was playing with Bill and Victoire and where some other people were mingling. I joined them, Victoire was making some unsteady steps on the grass, Teddy cheering her on, Bill taking pictures and smiling, sun shining on his red hair, looking young and happy.</p>
<p>Celia eventually found me, just as Victoire started crying in my arms so it was a good excuse to say <em>‘oh, she’s probably hungry, don’t worry Bill, I’ll take care of it’</em> and I was hurrying back inside, finding Fleur so she could give her some food. I went to the kitchen then, where Molly fed me some more and absolutely refused my help with preparing trays of finger food.</p>
<p>I managed to avoid Celia for the rest of the evening.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">11 August 2001, Saturday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This week, I only saw Malfoy once, when I was walking home on Thursday. True, I didn’t have to go through Knockturn, but some habits die hard. I was passing his shop, so I looked inside through a window and he was sitting behind a counter, perusing through some book, his chin propped on his palm, eyes down. His hair was falling over his forehead and had an orange hue to it, probably because of the light inside or something else stupid. He looked up and saw me and I kept staring like an idiot for good five seconds as his face changed from calm to bemused and scowling until he got up and I bolted.</p>
<p>There’s something wrong with me. I need to take a break from all things Malfoy, I think.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">15 August 2001, Wednesday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I went babysit today and Andromeda told me that Malfoy was visiting over the weekend, like it’s no big deal!! He apparently brought some toys over for Teddy and stayed only for an hour or so.</p>
<p>She said that he wrote some letters – which she didn’t let me read – with apologies and <em>‘a desire to meet his cousin’</em> which is just so ridiculous and unlike Malfoy.</p>
<p><em>‘I thought it was genuine, so I wrote him back and so we corresponded for several months and I invited him here to meet Teddy’</em> she said while I was probably gaping.</p>
<p>I asked about Narcissa then and I finally know that she isn’t dead but living in France with her husband – happily ever after, seems like. I asked about the peacocks and Andromeda looked at me strangely and said she didn’t know what peacocks I’m talking about. I also know that Malfoy is visiting them again this Saturday, she invited him for lunch.</p>
<p>I really wanted to take a break, but I can’t now, can I?</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">19 August 2001, Sunday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I stopped over for lunch at Andromeda’s. Well, she practically invited me the other day, so I don’t know why she looked surprised when she opened the door for me.</p>
<p>Malfoy was already there when I came, sitting at a table, talking to Teddy. I said hello and he surprisingly didn’t scowl, only straightened his spine and said hello back.</p>
<p>We had lunch. Then there was a dessert and tea and all that time, Malfoy was behaving like a complete tosser. He didn’t smirk once, no sneers, he was laughing and talking, playing with Teddy and even helped cleaning the dishes. Granted, he barely spoke to me, but other than that, he wasn’t obvious about it, because if I asked him something directly, he answered politely. It was some sort of alternate reality, that afternoon.</p>
<p>It was 16:15pm when he announced he would be leaving, and so I said I would go too. We said goodbye, and Malfoy said to me outside <em>‘well, I hope you had fun, Potter’</em> with a sneer – and there it was! (Shame Andromeda couldn’t see it.) I could feel he was about to apparate so I grabbed his shoulder and said <em>‘let’s walk for a while’</em>, to which he asked a very incredulous <em>‘why?’</em> and I said <em>‘to prove you’re a prat?’</em> (which, I admit, was super weird). Malfoy laughed, said no and then looked at my hand still on his arm which I immediately dropped. He frowned, but in the end, he nodded and started walking.</p>
<p>We engaged in the most awful small talk of humankind. It probably was only about four minutes of torture but to me, it seemed like forever, I hate small talk. I was scared that if I would ask some real questions, he would just disappear, and then my chances of learning something about his devious pursuits would diminish. So, I suffered until he sighed, said <em>‘see you never, hopefully’</em> and disapparated.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">21 August 2001, Tuesday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A guy in a muggle bookstore flirted with me today. I think. Maybe he was just polite. He gave me his number, which is useless to me, since I don’t have a phone.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">22 August 2001, Wednesday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yesterday I found a musical box in the attic of Grimmauld, it just fell out of a chest in a corner under three dusty boxes. It had a strange glow around it, I cast some diagnostic spells, turned out it was cursed. So, today, I brought it to Malfoy to lift the curse so I could safely display it on my mantel.</p>
<p>He lifted his brow when I came, explained and put the box in front of him. He said he would have it ready for me tomorrow.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">23 August 2001, Thursday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I came to take the box right before he was closing the shop. He muttered something about being on time but brought it from the back room. He opened it and it started playing and gold sparks were flying out from its mirror at the bottom. It was very nice. I thanked him and paid the rest of the money.</p>
<p>Then I waited outside until he closed. He saw me and exhaled a long-suffering sigh. I thanked him again and walked with him to the corner he’d usually disapparate from, but he kept on walking.</p>
<p><em>‘So, really, Potter, what’s this about? Now you decided to pay me, willingly?’</em> he asked as we were walking towards the Leaky.</p>
<p>I said I just found a cursed box and he was running a shop for cursed objects.</p>
<p>When we reached the Leaky, he went to a booth and sat down. I, of course, followed, and he asked <em>‘what are you doing?’</em> so I shrugged and sat down as well and somehow I ended up having dinner with him. He kept glowering the whole time, except when he was chewing.</p>
<p><strong><span class="u">But! Progress:</span></strong> we were actually talking, even through the whole glowering thing, Malfoy was strangely amenable. He talked about the music box I brought, about the curse that was on it, about how if I would be smarter, I’d be able to do it myself, about the most challenging curse he’s encountered, about how he got into it - I mentioned, offhand, the vanishing cabinet must’ve been a start and he shut down, just nodded and finished his meal quite quickly afterward.</p>
<p>Once we were outside, he just nodded with <em>‘well’</em> and disappeared.</p>
<p>I placed the music box on the mantel.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">24 August 2001, Friday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I found a cursed vase this time. I brought it to Malfoy.</p>
<p>After work I stopped by again, he even let me wait inside, not many customers. He said the vase isn’t done yet, most probably on Tuesday.</p>
<p>Just as yesterday, I waited until he closed, he didn’t stop for a meal, so I asked if he wanted a drink, he made a strange face but said <em>‘I guess, why not’</em>.</p>
<p>We made it to some pub at Old Compton, I ordered beer, he ordered whiskey, I paid because technically I invited him. It was a bit strained at the beginning again, but after few sips his tongue loosened, and he wasn’t sneering as much.</p>
<p>Today I learned that his parents are in France – which I knew already but didn’t want him to know I knew -, that the peacocks fled during the time Voldemort was living there – I asked, the peacocks were not leaving my thoughts for some reason –, that he is friends with Luna, that he doesn’t like wine too much, that Zabini used to have hots for Ginny – I felt only slightly jealous –, that he likes going to muggle places and even owns muggle clothes.</p>
<p>I told him some things, so it would look like we were becoming friendly and so he wouldn’t get suspicious. Harmless stuff, about renovating Grimmauld – still ongoing –, about my job – non-confidential things, of course –, about Teddy, about how I hate all the books and articles being still written about me, which led to the war somehow, which led to the beginning and uncomfortable silence.</p>
<p>I tried to save it but didn’t know how.</p>
<p>We finished the drinks, left the pub in a slightly sour mood, Malfoy just nodded, walked away and I only heard a pop in the distance.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">27 August 2001, Monday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I think, overall, the things are going well.</p>
<p>I don’t have to revert to secrecy, it’s apparently enough being friendly-ish with Malfoy to get him talking. Even though I think I still have a long way to go. I’m planning to stop by again today, to see how much more he will let slip.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">28 August 2001, Tuesday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When I came to his shop today, <span class="u">he smiled</span> – very small and barely visible, but I saw the corner of his mouth tip up – and brought out the vase.</p>
<p>Yesterday we went out again after work, Parkinson joined us, and we went clubbing. I mean, I mostly just sat and drank, they danced. I watched them from time to time. Malfoy was popular on the dance floor, loads of people wanted to dance with him.</p>
<p>We went to the Leaky today. Ate some food, drank some beer and spoke some words and went home.</p>
<p>I put the vase on the kitchen table. It’s pretty. Blue glass with red specks all around. I will need some flowers.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">3 September 2001, Monday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I just got back from a four-day mission with Davies. I was being punished for going to Kingsley and demanding for the Knockturn patrol to be cancelled, that’s the only explanation. Otherwise, why would Robards sent me to Swedish woods to track Mooncalf smugglers with fucking Davies? We were living in a tent, no heating, smelling like sweat and eggs, with Davies complaining constantly. We barely managed to catch them because he was just whining about how hungry he was.</p>
<p>I took a day off and am ready to fall asleep in my nicely enough smelling bed.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">5 September 2001, Wednesday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When I walked inside the Curious Curses, Parkinson was sitting on the counter, swinging her legs, Malfoy was nowhere to be seen.</p>
<p><em>‘Oh, hello, Potter, what brings you here?’</em> she asked and hopped down. I said I came to see Malfoy. She leered and said <em>‘did you, really?’</em> and I just nodded slowly while her grin spread wide.</p>
<p>When Malfoy appeared, he stopped, looked at the scene, said <em>‘Pansy’</em> and set something down.</p>
<p><em>‘Potter came to see you, Draco’</em> she smiled, so broad I thought her face would split in half. I felt like I was missing out on some joke.</p>
<p>Malfoy just pushed the small box towards her and told her to take it and leave. She did but not before she said to him, barely audible (but I was close enough) <em>‘I knew I was right’</em> and then louder ‘<em>thank you, Draco, have a nice evening, bye Potter’</em> and the door banged behind her.</p>
<p>Malfoy asked <em>‘what do you want?’</em> in his most annoying, poshest voice. I shrugged. I couldn’t tell him that I just wanted to spy on him, still.</p>
<p>He didn’t say anything else, so I started speaking about the mission, and how cold Sweden is even in summer and Davies and the tent and the vase and flowers I bought and the Grimmauld and the renovation and, somehow, he was suddenly closing and we were walking and I was still talking.</p>
<p>We ended up in some park. It was getting dark and we were sitting on a bench and Malfoy was telling me about his kneazle he had when he was six and I could smell that woody-lavender fragrance of his and his skin was a little flushed and I couldn’t see the freckles on his cheeks and his hair was covering half his face and I was feeling a bit dizzy.</p>
<p>So, I stood up, said <em>‘I am a bit tired, I think I’m gonna go’</em>. He frowned but nodded and stood too, we made about five steps when I said goodbye and apparated on the spot.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">8 September 2001, Saturday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">I AM SO FUCKED.</span>
  </strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong> <span class="u">9 September 2001, Sunday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I know people say I’m oblivious. By people I mean Hermione and Ginny. <span class="u">But I am not stupid!</span></p>
<p>On Friday we almost kissed or I think <strong>I</strong> almost kissed <strong>him</strong>. He just stood there, frozen, under the streetlight, looking at me and I don’t know, we were just so close again and I saw a mole on his jaw under his ear, and that smell, it all just got to me and when I realised what I was doing I clapped him on the shoulder, said goodbye and left.</p>
<p>It starts to look like I might be into guys. That, or Malfoy’s using some Amortentia or something else illegal that makes me this way now. It only started when he appeared, all of a sudden, men flirting with me everywhere? Did he spray it on me or something, is that why? <em><span class="u">But why???</span></em></p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">Reasons I Might Look at Men More than Usual:</span> </strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li>Malfoy used some brew on me</li>
<li>Malfoy cursed me</li>
<li>I am losing my mind</li>
<li>I might not be as straight as I thought</li>
<li>I might be sexually frustrated</li>
<li>Malfoy cursed me</li>
</ul>
<p>I have to stop going to his shop.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">14 September 2001, Friday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I didn’t go to the shop for the whole week. No one flirted with me, so it has to mean I was right and this was Malfoy’s plan all along. To get me all obsessed with him all over again.</p>
<p>True, I went straight home from work, so there was really no opportunity to test it fully, but still.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">16 September 2001, Sunday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I went grocery shopping today. Cashier smiled at me, which I don’t consider flirting since it is her job and she was a woman – plus it would invalidate my theory that whatever Malfoy put me under only works on men.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">19 September 2001, Wednesday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I stopped by at Hermione’s office to wish her a happy birthday and, also hinting, subtly, about my predicament: ‘<em>Hermione, do you think Malfoy might have hexed me or something, I’m feeling a bit off since I started seeing him’</em>.</p>
<p>And that opened a whole lot of questions, like: what is wrong with me, am I feeling sick, do I have unexplained empty spaces in my memory, any sickness, did I still not stopped with stalking him and what do I mean by seeing Malfoy?</p>
<p>It was too much so I said <em>‘nevermind, gotta go back to work’</em> and I left.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">23 September 2001, Sunday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hermione’s birthday party went well, considering Ginny was invited as well. I managed to avoid her as much as possible, at least.</p>
<p>Their flat was full, some people I didn’t recognise but which allowed for a covert experiment: seeing whether there are some lingering effects from Malfoy’s deviousness. And sure enough, there were.</p>
<p>A friend of Hermione from work was chatting me up, not subtle at all, but after few exchanged sentences it was clear he only wanted the Saviour (gross), so, not really being into it, I had to cut it short. Other than that, just few women, but since Ginny was there it might have been a deal breaker for everyone.</p>
<p>I managed to stay sober, only had one beer. But when I came back home and lied down, Malfoy’s face came uninvited to my brain, with <span class="u">freckles</span>. I tried to push it away by pushing my face in a pillow as forcefully as possible, but it was still there, mixing with Bill’s face and the guy’s who gave me his phone number and Ginny’s and Hermione’s colleague’s and Cho’s  until it finally settled on Malfoy again and the only thing I wanted was to go to sleep.</p>
<p>I couldn’t, so I went up to the attic and pulled out an ugly copper bust of a face of some witch, possibly Black, which was, surprise, cursed.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">25 September 2001, Tuesday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Malfoy was not happy when I came around and I felt nauseous for some reason. I put the bust on his countertop, and he grimaced. <em>‘I want to display it in my hallway’</em> I told him. He nodded and asked <em>‘anything else?’</em> and I shook my head and asked what he’s been up to, to which he narrowed his eyes and just said <em>‘the usual’</em> and I didn’t know what else I could do, other than nod and leave.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">29 September 2001, Saturday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The bust remains hidden in the attic, safe and ugly and not cursed .</p>
<p>I went to get it yesterday, after Malfoy sent an owl, terse and official. I came, he gave me the awful thing and I asked him if he wanted to go take a walk after he’s done. He shrugged but said <em>‘fine’</em> and it was only few minutes till closing (I came later than usual) and soon enough, we were outside, the bust shrunk in my pocket.</p>
<p>Once we left the Leaky, he asked <em>‘did you go on another assignment?’</em> and it took me a while to figure out what he meant. I answered <em>‘no, just been busy at work, didn’t have time to do anything else, really’</em>. He hummed and was looking straight ahead and there it was, that mole right on his jaw.</p>
<p>And my brain just short-circuited, and I didn’t know what to say other than hum right back, feeling like a fool. Thankfully, he finally started talking, about his week and work and how Parkinson was making him go to a different bar every second night and how she always left with some man. He asked me few questions, but I was just so deep in the vacuum of my mind that I answered briefly, trying to focus where I was walking and definitely not on how near he was.</p>
<p>We made it to the park we ended up in the last time, sitting on a different bench, and he ran out of words, it seemed, because suddenly there was silence and I didn’t know for how long no one said anything until he exhaled noisily and said <em>‘well, I think I’ll go, I don’t want to catch the gloominess from you, so good night’</em>.</p>
<p>My palm ended up on his knee to stop him from leaving, he looked down and I thought I was having an aneurysm when I leaned in, kissed that stupid mole of his. He froze, I froze upon realising what I did and how intense that woody smell was on his skin, but he turned his head then and his mouth was on mine and we were kissing. It only lasted for few seconds, no tongue or anything. He leaned back and licked his lips, cleared his throat, stood up, my hand falling from his knee, said <em>‘good night, then’</em> and disapparated.</p>
<p>The only thing I’ve managed to think about is, how I want to do it again.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">30 September 2001, Sunday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span class="u">I am losing my fucking mind</span>.</p>
<p>I spent today with Teddy and Andromeda, and very innocently inquired about Malfoy. She said he visited last Saturday. Played with Teddy. (And now that I think about it, he probably mentioned it Friday when my mind was foggy.)</p>
<p>When I was leaving, I apparated in front of his gate and could see in the distance that the lights were on downstairs and almost reverted back to dismantling the wards to enter the grounds. But I didn’t.</p>
<p>I went home, listened to some wireless, went to bed, stared at the ceiling, thinking back to Friday. Over and over and over. Until I could imagine it to the smallest detail and developed a headache.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">3 October 2001, Wednesday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So, yesterday, I found a suspiciously looking locket, gave me flashbacks, so I decided Malfoy should take a look at it and brought it to him. He gave me a bemused, very reserved smile, cast few spells and announced it’s not cursed.</p>
<p><em>‘Good to know’</em> I said, smiled and left back to work.</p>
<p>And I came back at 7pm. <em>‘This still feels a little stalkery, Potter’</em> he said when he was locking up. I asked what he meant, and he told me <em>‘you appear here almost every evening, hiding in the corner, I’m only glad you lost the cloak’</em>.</p>
<p>We talked while we walked, until we reached the park again and sat on a bench right under a lamp and he was talking about a potion book that <em>‘you would definitely enjoy, Potter, no instructions for brewing, pictures mostly’</em> and he looked at me and smirked and it was just too long since Friday and so I kissed him while the smirk was still on his face.</p>
<p>He was a bit stiff at the beginning, so I thought I misjudged and wanted to flee as fast as possible, but then he put his fingers in my hair and pushed closer and all thoughts disappeared when his scent was all around.</p>
<p>It didn’t go on for as long as I’d want, he pulled away, blinked and then pecked me on the mouth, stood up, straightened his clothes, said goodnight and left while I was still sitting on the bench, completely out of my mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">5 October 2001, Friday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I am happy to report that I manged to peruse his shop a bit more during these last three days.</p>
<p>Wednesday, I came earlier (after his stalkery comment) and went inside. He had a customer, so I was free to look my fill. I peeked into the vitrines, the displays and couldn’t really find anything odd. I even accomplished getting into the back room – when there was no one around he took my wrist and pulled me inside, we snogged until we heard the door opening and he left to service the person and I was able to investigate. There were multiple cursed artefacts, labelled and under protection spells and I wanted to take a closer look, but the person left, and he came back and I grabbed him by his neck and kissed him and we were kissing till he decided to close early. We went to the park, intentionally this time I think, we talked and kissed and then he stood up, said goodnight and left.</p>
<p>Same thing yesterday, the park, the bench, the kissing, the goodnight, the leaving.</p>
<p>So, tonight, after the obligatory kiss and run, I sent him an owl asking if he wanted to have a lunch or dinner or if he wanted to go flying, possibly, over the weekend. He replied an hour later that we can go flying and then have dinner.</p>
<p>So here I am, going on a date. <span class="u">With Malfoy</span>. It is <strong>super weird</strong>, I know, but I obviously can’t help myself when I want to find out what he’s truly up to.</p>
<p>Yeah, I can’t even justify this to myself anymore.</p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">Reasons I Started Dating Draco Malfoy:</span> </strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li>
<strike>Malfoy used some brew on me</strike>
</li>
<li>Malfoy cursed me</li>
<li><strong><span class="u">I am losing my mind</span></strong></li>
<li>I might not be as straight as I thought</li>
<li>I might be sexually frustrated</li>
<li>
<strike>Malfoy cursed me</strike>
</li>
</ul>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">6 October 2001, Saturday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">The Unsavoury Practices of Draco Malfoy when on a Date:</span> </strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li>I came to the Manor at 1pm, he opened the gate for me and quipped <em>‘isn’t it better to be invited, Potter, rather than breaking in?’</em> and smirked, wearing his muggle clothes – jumper with a logo and jeans,</li>
<li>we went to the shed, he gave me a broom and we flew above the grounds and the woods and the lake,</li>
<li>when we landed back down, with too much adrenaline in my blood, I kissed him amongst the brooms and tools and dust and dirt and I couldn’t care less, his face was cold under my fingers and he was kissing me back and I could feel my heartbeat under his palm on my neck,</li>
<li>he then invited me inside, meal ready in the kitchen, he said <span class="u">he cooked</span> (roasted chicken and potatoes), <em>‘hope you like it’</em> he said when we started eating, and I did like it, and I also liked the banana bread he served with tea. I asked him when he learnt to cook and he said when his parents left and house-elfs too. I asked why he didn’t go with his parents and he said he couldn’t because he wanted to stay home and keep up the Manor,</li>
<li>he gave me a little tour of the first floor, he showed me rooms he changed and cleaned after the war, most were closed though, and he told me the upstairs was still unfinished, only his and his parents’ rooms done, no one mentioned the cellar and he didn’t bring me to the room where we were taken by the Snatchers, but still, it dampened a mood a bit,</li>
<li>so, once we walked into the sitting room, to forget all the things that happened in the house in the past, I just kissed him again, led him to the sofa, pushed my hand under his jumper and shirt and felt the warm skin of his back, he moved closer, took off his jumper and mine too,</li>
<li>and just when I thought the irreversible would happen and he was pushing me into the sofa cushions and his whole body was right against mine and I was about to reach down to his flies with my shaky fingers and just do it, he was suddenly at the other end of the sofa, buttoning up his shirt (don’t know how it got opened in the first place), flushed and breathing heavily, while I was still lying spread out, he laughed nervously and said it was late and maybe I should go home,</li>
<li>I scrambled up, a bit disheartened because even if I was way over my head, I thought it was good for both of us, I put my jumper back on, he saw me out, kissed me goodbye.</li>
</ul>
<p>Now that I think about it, maybe this is not my best idea. In all likelihood, I am <span class="u">just</span> horny and Malfoy was <span class="u">just</span> there, being infuriating and smirking and looking, most probably and objectively, <span class="u">just</span> decent and possibly as a revenge he really did put some spell on me and made me all hot and bothered. Honestly, how would I even have explained this to people? To Ron? To Hermione and Weasleys? To <strong>everyone</strong>?</p>
<p>It’s way too late in the night for this. I am going to sleep, hopefully forgetting all my bad decisions.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">7 October 2001, Sunday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yeah, I might’ve gone to another date with him. He owled today, just as I was tossing and turning in my bed, trying to fall back asleep.</p>
<p>I wanted to say no or not write back at all, but he said we could play a seekers game and who am I to refuse Quidditch?</p>
<p>So, I went, we played for about two hours and then I almost came in my pants, pushed against that stupid shed wall (I cannot be blamed, it’s been, what, 6 months??). I wanted to cry when he pulled away and said <em>‘great, so, I have a prior social engagement I have to attend, so I guess you should’</em> and left it at that and <strong><span class="u">who even speaks like this?</span></strong></p>
<p>He kissed me goodbye, a bit more forceful than usual and I thought he changed his mind and might call me in. He didn’t, just smiled and went inside, alone.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">11 October 2001, Thursday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yesterday, we went for dinner instead of the park. It was a muggle restaurant and he paid.</p>
<p>Afterwards, a bit tipsy and warm, I asked him if he wanted to come to mine. He nodded and I took his hand and apparated us to Grimmauld. We landed in the kitchen. He noticed the vase with coneflowers sitting in the middle of the table and he said <em>‘huh, I thought it was just an excuse’</em> and I asked <em>‘what?’</em> and he said <em>‘the vase’</em> and that was it, because at that point my mouth was already on his.</p>
<p>After a while, when I was a bit too excited about the situation, I whispered to him if he wanted to stay the night – because in my mind it was an okay thing to ask when you were grinding with another man against a hard surface for about a fourth time – and he kissed me again and pulled me closer and then pushed his hand down my pants and said <em>‘yeah?’</em> and I just nodded and I pushed my hand down his pants.</p>
<p>So, yeah, we jerked each other off in my kitchen and I don’t know how to feel about it because once we finished, I still wanted to take him upstairs and kiss some more. But, <span class="u">once more</span>, when he put his clothes to rights and he did the same with mine, because apparently, I was useless, he asked to show him around. He said he used to come here when he was little, he frowned when he saw the renovated parlour and hall, said the red on the walls was <em>‘just too much, Potter, you need to know when to stop’</em>. I pushed him against it, asked again if he wanted to stay, he said <em>‘not tonight, maybe some other time’</em>, looked around more, laughed when he found a shelf dedicated to only Quidditch books, magazines and memorabilia with <em>‘yeah, just too much’</em> and left with the damn parting kiss and no more.</p>
<p>I want to scream.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">13 October 2001, Saturday</span> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <span class="u">Things I Have Learnt About Draco Malfoy:</span> </strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li>his favourite drink is Whiskey Sour,</li>
<li>his favourite food is chocolate, Lemon tart, some pretentious French desserts I won’t even attempt to write, Nutella, all apple desserts – just basically everything sweet – plus normal food include potatoes, Shepard’s pie, Yorkshire pudding, anything with or from potatoes, lettuce, lemons – like he can eat a lemon, peel it and eat it, I saw it with my own eyes – and probably other foods, I don’t remember, he talks too much about it,</li>
<li>he has a favourite film (he goes to cinema with Parkinson, it’s their tradition): Miss Congeniality, can’t judge, haven’t seen it,</li>
<li>he really likes walking in muggle neighbourhoods,</li>
<li>he really likes walking in general,</li>
<li>he’s afraid of spiders (I told him he would have a lot to talk about with Ron to which he glared),</li>
<li>his favourite colour is green (and he dares to complain about my red?),</li>
<li>he’s a good kisser,</li>
<li>he hates being cold,</li>
<li>he wanted to become a curse breaker,</li>
<li>his hair is soft,</li>
<li>that smell of his is a soap he makes himself (pretentious…but it is a really nice fragrance),</li>
<li>he grows tomatoes,</li>
<li>he prefers dogs to cats, kneazles to crups (???),</li>
<li>he loves to talk,</li>
<li>he loves to insult me, still (not sure if I love it, too),</li>
<li>he loves to make me all horny and then leave me high and dry,</li>
<li>what’s the purpose of this list??? It would just take too long to write it all down, and am I supposed to include everything that I know about him, from school and war?? Whatever, it is my list and I can leave it incomplete if I want to!</li>
<li><strong><span class="u">I HATE LISTS!!!!</span></strong></li>
</ul>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">14 October 2001, Sunday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I don’t know what I should do. I met him Friday, yesterday and today. I like spending time with him, but is it mainly for the kissing and the other stuff? Or is it because of him?</p>
<p>Okay, it’s just that I don’t really know him, <span class="u">do I</span>?</p>
<p>I know Malfoy from school, which was six years of being an asshole and I know him from this last four months, which is incomparable!!</p>
<p>So, should I judge it based on past or present? Sure, we’ve spoken more than at Hogwarts so far, but does that even mean anything?</p>
<p>Are we a couple now or is it just attraction or want or – <strong><span class="u">what is it?</span></strong></p>
<p>Do I want to be a couple? Do I want people to know?</p>
<p>Is this some sort of rebound? Am I just lonely?</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">Am I pathetic?</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>Is it too soon to think about this? It hasn’t even been three weeks yet since we kissed. Is that enough time to have a crisis?</p>
<p>Yeah, no. I’ll give it some more time and then, if it turns out awful, I’ll go from there.</p>
<p>I mean, I can have a little harmless fun, right?</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">16 October 2001, Tuesday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>‘You’ve been weird lately, is everything okay?’</em> Ron asked during today’s dinner with him and Hermione. (Malfoy was busy tonight as he informed me the evening prior – after a long necking session on my armchair – I asked him what he would be doing and he said he’s going out with Pansy which led to an odd feeling in my stomach and a question why she didn’t ask me to come too anymore and he said because he asked her not to, so I only nodded because I definitely did not want to know the reason.)</p>
<p>I said everything was fine. Hermione started talking about her new bill she’s trying to push through, the conversation turned to Ron then, they’re testing new dream charm in a candy – I offered to help with testing it because I could use some oblivion. It was a mistake that I literally said <em>‘I can test it, I could use a moment of oblivion’</em>, which made them look at me all squinting and frowning. I laughed and said I was joking.</p>
<p>When the dishes were being washed, Ron asked me <em>‘are you feeling okay, Harry? I know the whole thing with Ginny was kind of hard on you, with all the crying and stuff’</em> (I never should’ve confessed to him, I had a weak moment) <em>‘but I thought it was better, is it better? I’m only asking because you look a bit miserable’</em>.</p>
<p><em>‘I’m not miserable’</em> I answered and I was mad enough to continue with <em>‘I’m hanging out with someone’</em>. Ron looked surprised but smiled and hit me on the back, saying <em>‘well that’s great, do I know her?’</em> and I just said <em>‘no’</em> and told him it’s still new and a bit confusing and I had this feeling that I wanted to tell him it’s a man, that it’s Malfoy to just tell someone who could maybe talk me out of it. But I didn’t and he grinned and for some reason I asked him to not tell Hermione or anyone else yet. <em>‘No worries, it will stay between us’</em> he said and winked.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">18 October 2001, Thursday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Robards called me in today to send me to another abroad assignment, two days, but at least this time with Jonson, in Switzerland, so it’s fine.</p>
<p>Now I probably should tell Malfoy this, we were supposed to meet on Saturday.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">19 October 2001, Friday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Malfoy was fine with cancelling plans and asked me to bring him some chocolate.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">23 October 2001, Tuesday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The assignment went great, we ended up in a wand fight but managed to arrest two of the witches, the third one fled but we tracked her down and brought her in as well. Jonson and I celebrated with kirsch because she said it was one of their traditional drinks and the morning we were leaving I also bought a box of chocolates.</p>
<p>We still have a lot of paperwork to do, so I didn’t even stop to breathe since we came back, but I’m going to see Teddy tonight - I bought him a plush dragon toy.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">25 October 2001, Thursday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I might’ve been a bit too enthusiastic when I came to see Malfoy today.</p>
<p>I came by his shop right before closing. He smiled and he was wearing those green robes I hate and it’s been six days since I’ve seen him, so I pushed him against the counter, put my hands under his robes, on the warm skin of his waist (he is always so warm and my fingers are always cold) and kissed him and I managed to notice, in all the haze, that he spelled the windows dark. He pushed my jacket off and put his arms around my neck and it was all so warm and nice, and he still smelled so good if not better than usual.</p>
<p><em>‘I brought you chocolate, a very expensive chocolate’</em> I said between kisses.</p>
<p><em>‘Did you? Thank you’</em> he said, his fingers pulling me back by my hair, kissing my neck while I was putting the box on the countertop, missing it and hearing as it fell on the floor.</p>
<p><em>‘You’re welcome’</em> I sighed, kissed his ear and he started on my flies just as I began to push his tunic (or whatever that was what he was wearing under the robes) off and I honestly thought that we were going to wank each other off (for the second time since we started this), right then and there, my pants were already pushed low, and his hand was on me, moving so slowly, there was a door opening and <span class="u">the most unpleasant sound in the world</span>, Parkinson’s voice saying <em>‘Draco, why are your windows dark, have you already…oh, hello’</em>. I died then, just a little, froze completely. I don’t know how, but I was already tucked in when Malfoy pushed me away, put his robes back on and said <em>‘Pansy, I thought we were meeting at the restaurant?’</em>. I didn’t turn back, staring holes into the wall.</p>
<p><em>‘Yes, but I was around so I thought we could go together. Hello, Potter’</em> she said and so I turned to her, being polite, said hello back and felt my face flame hot red. She continued with <em>‘how you’ve been?’</em>. I said <em>‘fine’</em> and then Malfoy said <em>‘Potter brought chocolates from Switzerland, the good ones’</em> and she said <em>‘is that how we’re calling it now?’</em>, but he was holding it, showing her. She smirked, opened it and ate one, while still smirking, and then <em>‘chocolate and snogging, good combo, if I wouldn’t come in do you think you’d finally’</em> but she didn’t finish because Malfoy half-yelled, half-whispered <em>‘all right, Pansy, we can go, I’ll just say goodbye to’ </em>and she grinned again with <em>‘okay then, but be quick about it’</em> and went outside.</p>
<p>Then it was awkward, I was still too hot in the face, he started saying <em>‘look, about Pansy’</em> and I jumped in, said it was fine, laughed, a bit mad, wished him a good evening and left, Parkinson was standing outside, I said goodbye to her too, she said goodnight and I disapparated right on the spot.</p>
<p><strong><span class="u">My god, Parkinson knows</span></strong>. I will have to talk to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">27 October 2001, Saturday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The talk didn’t go as good as expected. I came to his this afternoon, we were supposed to have lunch and then go and see Miss Congeniality in cinema, some sort of re-run.</p>
<p>So, he led me inside, he made Shephard’s Pie (during several conversations about food we’ve had, I mentioned it was my favourite, so it was actually sweet of him to remember) and when we were sitting down I asked him about that evening. Literally what I said was: <em>‘So, Parkinson knows, huh? What did she say?’</em></p>
<p><em>‘Nothing, she already knew’</em> he said.</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">And from there it went something like this (from what I remember, as close to real words spoken as possible):</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘She knew? Since when?’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘She was the one who told me, actually.’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘What? Just, let’s take it from the beginning, please.’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘I told her you were stalking me and when she came up to you at the bar, remember? After, she told me you wanted me, I told her she was ridiculous, of course.’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘…’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘But then, you really started to behave odd and I thought, well, maybe she was right. Turns out she was.’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Okay?’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Do you like it?’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Yeah, yeah, s’good. So, Parkinson knows, what did she say yesterday, when she saw… us?’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘I’d rather not repeat, it was pretty dirty.’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Er, so who else knows? About, this. Us.’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘I don’t know. Other than Pansy, I didn’t tell anyone.’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘That’s good. Good. I don’t think we should broadcast it.’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘What?’</em>
</p>
<p><em>‘I mean, I think it’s better if no one knows, or at least, as few people as possible, right?’</em> (here I knew I messed up – he stopped eating and just looked at me) <em>‘I mean, I thought it was what you wanted, too. We only go to muggle places or we’re here or at Grimmauld.’</em></p>
<p>
  <em>‘It’s not what I want.’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Well, but I think it’s better that way, less attention, you know?’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Sure.’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘I mean. Yeah. It’s new, right? Why should anyone know?’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Right.’</em>
</p>
<p>(and I just kept talking) ‘<em>Surely</em><em> i</em><em>t will be less trouble this way. I just want to be clear about this, you know? Making sure we’re on the same page and all. But, of course, feel free to tell me what you expect of this, this, whatever this is, yeah?’</em></p>
<p>(he cringed, quite visibly)<em> ‘Very well, Potter. You made yourself clear.’</em></p>
<p>
  <em>‘So, is there something you’d like to say?’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘I think you said enough, no need to add anything.’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Okay, then. Cool.’</em>
</p>
<p>We finished eating, I tried to talk because the silence was stifling, but his answers were short and clipped. He didn’t offer any dessert, instead he said <em>‘thanks for stopping by, I think we should reschedule the cinema, I feel a bit tired’ </em>and I said (even though I knew he was dismissing me) <em>‘I can stay, if you want, we can do something else’ </em>and he said <em>‘no, that’s fine’</em> and led me to the door, didn’t even accompany me to the gate.</p>
<p>Well, still. I think it’s better this way. For now. I really don’t want to explain it to anyone.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">28 October 2001, Sunday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Today I had lunch at the Burrow. I love Sundays at the Burrow.</p>
<p>Hermione kept watching me the whole time until she let it slip that <span class="u">Ron let it slip</span> that I’m seeing someone. She asked who it was, how long we’re together, whether we’re serious and so on. So, I had to remind her as well to not tell anyone, that it’s new and blah blah all else.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">3 November 2001, Saturday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Well, Malfoy is behaving like a real prat again. I wen to his shop four times and to his house twice this past week, and every time he claimed he was busy. I mean, it’s fine if he is and it’s fine if he doesn’t want to see me anymore – <span class="u">because I’m almost completely sure that’s the reason </span>– but why doesn’t he just say so for fuck’s sake??<strong>!!!!</strong> I asked him to say what he wanted, and he didn’t and it’s not my fault he kept his mouth shut!!</p>
<p>Whatever, I don’t have to see him if he doesn’t want to see me.</p>
<p>What a complete fuck-up.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">4 November 2001, Sunday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I went to Andromeda’s yesterday, she wanted to visit a friend and asked me to babysit.</p>
<p>So, when we were playing hide and seek, I noticed a picture on her fireplace, tucked behind all the others. It was Malfoy with Teddy. Malfoy looked a little stiff, sitting on the sofa and Teddy on his lap, fidgeting, playing with the dragon I gave him, trying to roar into the camera. It was a very nice picture.</p>
<p>I momentarily forgot I was playing a game and went looking for Teddy, found him under a kitchen chair, eating a cookie.</p>
<p>This morning I sent him an owl, if he was busy or if he wanted to hang out. He wrote back ten minutes ago, <strong><span class="u">four hours after I sent it, writing he was busy (!!!!)</span></strong> but that he could find time this coming Saturday. So, that’s great.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">6 November 2001, Tuesday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I was having drinks yesterday in Hogsmeade, with Ron, Seamus, Dean and Neville. Not the best idea at the beginning of the week, considering there was a lot of firewhiskey but it’s been a long time since we had such a get-together. And I needed some time off away from all that Malfoy situation.</p>
<p>Neville said, while already three drinks in, that he’s thinking of proposing to Hannah. We all encouraged him to do it, placing bets when or if that would happen, Neville was flushing the whole time, grinning, saying <em>‘yeah! Yeah, I’ll do it, soon, very soon, I love her so much… oh, chips, cool’</em>.</p>
<p>It was a great evening, the morning though, not so great. The whole day was a little hazy, but I managed to finish all my reports, talk to Robards, avoid Davies when he tried to eat lunch with me and catch up with Hermione in the atrium – she said Ron looked even worse than I, and I felt so much better!</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">8 November 2001, Thursday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I tried to visit Malfoy, just for a fun of it. He looked normal, even talked to me, but there was no usual kissing. We confirmed Saturday, he said to come to the Manor, I said okay and then he had a witch walk in, carrying a miniature window. I left and I really can’t say that I’m looking forward to this weekend.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">9 November 2001, Friday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Today, I was testing the new Wheezes dream charm and it wasn’t what I was expecting. I was thinking I would see a meadow or a beach or something else calming and nice, place I would like to visit. Also, as I was told by George, the purpose of the charm is to provide <em>‘an ultimate fantasy, a dream that calms you and give you happiness’</em> and so I thought that yes, I’d love to go to the sea and relax.</p>
<p>Instead, what I saw was Hogwarts. Just that. A castle, static, in the distance. Not that I don’t love Hogwarts, but I was a little disappointed. When I told George and Ron what I saw, they both frowned and said they’d look into it and do some adjustments. They would tell me when it’s ready so we can try again.</p>
<p>Maybe I just love the castle too much, or I don’t have an active imagination, or maybe I just don’t feel happy anywhere at any time, other than Hogwarts. That would be grim. I hope it’s the charm’s fault.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">11 November 2001, Sunday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I don’t know what’s happening anymore.</p>
<p>I came Saturday, as we agreed – <span class="u">or as he told me, and I agreed</span> – at 7pm. He asked if I wanted something to drink – no food this time.</p>
<p>He said he wanted to show me something, so we went upstairs, he opened a door and we walked into his bedroom.</p>
<p>He said <em>‘so this is my room’</em> and then he came closer, started kissing me and pushing me backwards until I was sitting on the bed. He then started undressing – it wasn’t a long affair, he was only wearing robes and <span class="u">nothing underneath!</span> – and I had no clue what was happening, but I started on my clothes as well, while he was still kissing me, my neck, cheeks and lips. When I was finally naked, too, I couldn’t stop touching him. He was so pale I could see his veins.</p>
<p>I didn’t question anything. If this was his way of saying he wasn’t mad at me anymore, I was fine with that.</p>
<p>It was surprising though how strong he actually is. He manhandled me, made my lie on the bed – I have to admit it was pretty arousing and if I wasn’t hard before, that would do it. He lied on top of me, warm and solid and I opened my mouth then, saying <em>‘what is happening’</em>. He mumbled into my hair <em>‘we’re having sex, Potter, thought that would be obvious’</em> and he moved against me and so I did too and said <em>‘I thought you were mad’</em>. He asked why and I told him <em>‘you barely spoke to me these last two weeks, are you sure about this’</em>, which was a mistake because he sat up between my legs, all contact lost and said <em>‘I mean we don’t have to, I thought you wanted but it’s fine if not, of course I’m not going to make you, Merlin, Potter, what do you think of me?’</em> and so I said to him <em>‘of course I do, I wouldn’t be lying here, naked if I didn’t but you were’</em> and I didn’t finish because he was back, murmuring <em>‘well then’</em> and that was the end to our conversation.</p>
<p>From then on, it all went fast. We were basically just grinding against each other, only used our hands, and it is embarrassing how fast I came, now that I think about it. Once he came too, he rolled off next to me, breathing heavily, I turned to him and we kissed for a while. I was getting sleepy, and we were still tangled together, I had my face in his neck because he just smelled so good and then, when I was <span class="u">almost </span>asleep he said <em>‘don’t you want to go home?’</em>.</p>
<p>And this, right here, just proves <strong>I’m not thick!!!</strong> He couldn’t be clearer. All sleepiness disappeared and I looked up at him, his brow was raised in question like <strong>he couldn’t wait for me to finally leave</strong>.</p>
<p>So, I got up, put my clothes back on, he covered himself with a sheet, turned to his side and murmured <em>‘goodnight’</em> and I wanted to punch him in the face. I was feeling so stupid and odd and cold.</p>
<p>I said goodnight and left.</p>
<p>I came home and I was smelling like him. Even now, showered, in different clothes, I can still smell that stupid soap.</p>
<p>I’m more confused than before.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">12 November 2001, </span>
  </strong>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">Monday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yesterday’s lunch with Weasleys was fine, I guess. Ginny was there and somehow no one told me she would be and when she saw me, she smiled, greeted me, we talked about how we’ve been and how she liked Wales and the team.</p>
<p>We sat opposite each other, the mood was good, no one was weird or anything.</p>
<p>I kept thinking about previous evening, barely focusing on conversations around me.</p>
<p>Ginny found me afterwards, in the garden, and asked <em>‘are you okay, Harry’</em> and I said I was and then she said <em>‘you seem a little spaced out, just thought it was weird for you still, seeing me here and all’</em> and I told her <em>‘no, I’m fine, just didn’t know you would be here, that’s all’</em>. She apparently asked them not to tell me because she wanted to see me. She missed me – as a friend, she made it clear – and wanted to remain friends but that I kept avoiding her.</p>
<p>So, we talked for a while, it was nice, like old times. I almost forgot how funny she was.</p>
<p>We moved to the sitting room where all the others were and it was warm and cosy, everyone was talking and laughing, and I couldn’t be happier.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">15 November 2001, Thursday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I, once again, because <span class="u">I’m incorrigible</span>, went to Malfoy’s shop today, because the whole sex thing left a sour taste in my mouth and he didn’t send an owl or fire-called or anything since then.</p>
<p>He was spelling the vitrines clean when I came in.</p>
<p>He turned around, saw me, smiled a little and said hello. And so that was the whole of my plan. Thankfully, Malfoy saved the situation – or better, he ruined it – by asking <em>‘do you need anything?’</em> and I just stared at him for few seconds and then I thought, <span class="u">to hell with him and his stupid face</span>, and I kissed him, and he kissed me back for one beat of a heart and then pulled away and said <em>‘not here, if you want you can come tomorrow’</em>.</p>
<p>I really wanted to just say no and to just talk about what’s going on, but I stepped back and said okay instead.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">17 November 2001, Saturday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>We ended up in his bed again. I arrived and I was determined to talk it out, whatever his problem was, but he just opened the door, grabbed my hand, led me upstairs, got us naked and we proceeded to bed where we did about the same thing as before.</p>
<p>(Honestly, I don’t mind this new development, but I do mind how it came to it.)</p>
<p>I must admit, I wanted to cuddle – because I just like it that way after sex, I don’t want to feel cold as soon as I come and I want a little affection, is that so horrible? Well, Malfoy certainly seemed to think so, because as soon as I wrapped my arms around him after, he stiffened and said <em>‘you can go’</em> and maybe that made me mad because I pushed away more forcefully than I intended and he squawked something when I practically pushed his face into the pillow.</p>
<p>But I mean, <span class="u">is this really what I have now</span>? A fuckbuddy? Not even a buddy, former enemy turned lover? Jesus, that just sounds awful.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">18 November 2001, Sunday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>We met yesterday evening as well. I suggested it and he said he was free and so I thought we could go flying or something. We didn’t. Not that I didn’t like what we did, this time on his fancy blue sofa, where, for the first time in my life, I had a cock in my mouth. In fact, I liked it very much.</p>
<p>We were half naked and he was struggling with his jeans, so I helped him out of it and since I was already on my knees, I thought, <span class="u">why not just do it?</span> I was thinking about it enough already to know I wanted to try it. So, I did.</p>
<p>And, yeah, I must I liked it. It was definitely sloppy but he didn’t complain and it was really arousing when he moaned and tangled his fingers in my hair. He came in my mouth, warned me, but since I was already doing it <span class="u">why not try that also</span> and so I did and that’s something I need to get used to, I guess. He slid down to the floor, pushed me on my back on the carpet and he sucked me too and oh my god, I missed it. It was so good I barely managed to stop myself from thrusting up, but he was holding me down with his arm on my hips. I watched him. I think he’s never done it before, also. I didn’t ask of course, it just looked like it to me. Made me feel better about myself, too.</p>
<p>He then kissed my thigh and hip and stomach, and I grabbed him by his arms and kissed him. I was thinking we would just lounge there, in front of the fire, maybe he would bring something sweet and maybe we would do it again. He was so pliant; his hands were everywhere, and we were kissing for a long time and I just wanted to kiss for longer. But then, <strong>of course</strong>, he pulled away, stood up with his hair all messy and said <em>‘well, thanks for that’</em>, he put his jeans back on and continued with <em>‘would you like something to drink before leaving? I’ll have to go soon, so’</em> – <strong><span class="u">who the fuck ends a sentence with a pretentious so???!!!! </span></strong></p>
<p>I wanted to ask where he was going, but I bit my tongue and dressed, very calmly. He left somewhere and didn’t come back, so when I was at the door I yelled <em>‘I’m leaving! Have a nice evening!’</em> and then murmured to myself <em>‘you fucking prat’</em>. There was no answer.</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">Reasons I <strike>Keep</strike> <strike>Dating</strike> <strike>Meeting</strike> Sucked Draco Malfoy Off and Liked It:</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li>I’m not as straight as I always thought</li>
</ul>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">25 November 2001, Sunday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I’ve been so busy this week. Work. But honestly, mainly Malfoy. We’ve been meeting every evening, never walking or eating together anymore. I don’t remember having this much sex in one week before.</p>
<p>He even came to mine when I asked him, twice. And every time it ended in bed, on a sofa, on a floor, and once in a chair in my kitchen.</p>
<p>Not that I didn’t do anything else.</p>
<p>I visited Ron and Hermione, on Monday, we had dinner and then I went to his house.</p>
<p>On Tuesday, I met Luna at Flourish and Blotts, where she hugged me and then smelled my hair and said that I should go with her and her boyfriend to Iceland to get rid of the Blibbering Humdingers and that evening I mentioned it to Malfoy, and he laughed, and I sucked him off in the hall.</p>
<p>Wednesday, I saved ten crups from the hands of smugglers, I went off on Davies for barging into my office without knocking, I interrogated a witness in our obliviation case and then I waited till Malfoy came home and took me to his bed.</p>
<p>Thursday, I was babysitting Teddy and left there at 10pm and still went to the Manor and still kissed him before he pulled away.</p>
<p>He came to mine on Friday. I, unlike him, offered him pasta I made. He looked at it like it was poisoned but ate without too many scathing comments and then he kneeled in front of me, and afterwards I practically carried him in my room so I could return the favour and then he left once his breathing calmed down.</p>
<p>And yesterday, there was a <span class="u">breakthrough!</span>! He came, we had sex, lied in bed after and he wasn’t immediately leaving. I was lying half on top of him, kissed his neck and stroked his hair and his breathing slowed, and he was asleep. So, I went to sleep, expecting once I would wake up, he’d be gone. But I woke up fifteen minutes ago and his back was to my chest, still sleeping.</p>
<p>I think it’s progress. I do think that he will bolt as soon as he’s conscious enough, though.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">26 November 2001, Monday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span class="u">He’s just so confusing!!</span> I don’t know whether it’s whatever I’ve done or whether he doesn’t know himself. He’s hot and then he’s cold, and then he doesn’t talk to me and then he calls me over to have sex, then doesn’t speak to me again for a week and then he’s eating breakfast at my kitchen table and then he’s storming out!!</p>
<p>I was lying in the bed when he woke up. There was a hitch of breath and stiffening of shoulders. He turned around, I said good morning. He said it back with a scowl.</p>
<p><em>‘I made some breakfast if you’re hungry’ </em>I told him when he sat up. He nodded and started to put on his clothes. I went downstairs and was drinking tea when he came in and announced <em>‘I would like some breakfast, thank you’</em>. I put a plate in front of him. After few bites he said ‘I’m sorry that I fell asleep’ and I told him it was fine.</p>
<p><em>‘Well, thank you for the food’</em> he said once he finished. I sent the plates over to the sink and came up to him, kissed him. He put his hands on my waist and suddenly I was on his lap. We were kissing for a while when he said <em>‘we can go to see a film, maybe, today’</em> and I wanted to say yes but then I remembered I was going to the Burrow and then I promised Ron we could test that dream charm again, and I started saying <em>‘maybe some other time’</em> and didn’t have a chance to continue because he startled me by pushing me away. He stood up, said <em>‘of course, thank you again for breakfast, have a nice day’</em> and left with door banging after him.</p>
<p>I went to Sunday lunch in a sour mood. The charm still didn’t work as promised and I was getting seriously fed up with Malfoy.</p>
<p>Today I decided, the next time I see him, we’re going to have some serious talk.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">28 November 2001, Wednesday</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I followed him today. I went to his shop and as I was nearing it, I saw him walking with Parkinson. Curiosity overtook me and I cast some quick charms over me so they wouldn’t notice me. They went to a club. I followed them inside. They met there with someone, as I got closer, I recognised them as Zabini, Goyle (looking extremely out of place) and Bulstrode.</p>
<p>Here is what happened (as much as I could observe, because I didn’t want to get too close, in case they would see me, I found a spot, a dark corner near the loos).</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">The Unsavoury Practices of Draco Malfoy When in a Muggle Club on 28<sup>th</sup> November:</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li>they ordered drinks, talked for a while, just standing around the table,</li>
<li>then they went dancing, Zabini was very handsy, kept putting his palms on Malfoy’s butt and Malfoy always grinned when he did it,</li>
<li>Malfoy, from what it looked like, tried to teach Goyle how to dance, Goyle didn’t like it probably because he left to their table and drank,</li>
<li>Bulstrode returned next, red in the face, then Zabini, and I saw Parkinson dancing with Malfoy in a very suggestive way,</li>
<li>then she found some man, but Malfoy wasn’t left alone for long, a woman came to him and they danced together,</li>
<li>after few moments <em><span class="u">she kissed him</span>, just like that, <span class="u">like she had any right to it</span></em>,</li>
<li>
<strong><em><span class="u">he kissed her back</span></em></strong>, and it wasn’t a second or two, it was all of 49 seconds until she jumped away, almost like she’d been burned with a hex (maybe it was stronger than I intended), she looked startled but did try to get close to him again, but Malfoy was walking away with a smile and a shake of his head,</li>
<li>he went back to their table,</li>
<li>he stayed only for few more minutes and then left.</li>
</ul>
<p>I apparated from the toilet right in front of his gate, behind a bush on the side of it. I was crouching there for couple minutes until I heard a pop and watched him opening the gate, waving his wand after he closed it. I went home when he was inside.</p>
<p>I’m not gonna lie and say that kiss didn’t jar me. It did.</p>
<p>I don’t know what I was thinking, honestly. We weren’t a couple, that was clear way before tonight. But I thought that he was just angry, or his pride was hurt when I said I wanted to keep it a secret for a while. I didn’t think he would go and kiss someone other than me! Okay, well, now I truly sound pathetic.</p>
<p>He never promised me anything, I never promised him anything, we never properly talked about this, I don’t even know him that well.</p>
<p>But still. <strong>It fucking stings.</strong></p>
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